"I can hear the bells"

You know the saying "Girls plan their weddings at the age of five"? Well I am the reason that saying even started to exist.
 I've been planning my wedding day since I knew what a wedding was (Thank you Disney princess movies.) 

When I was younger, the plan was to get married in a castle to a prince while wearing the biggest, poofy, sparkly wedding dress you could ever think of and then timings that thought by 100. Then have thousands of doves released when we walk through the doors as man and wife and have a big chocolate ice cream cake as the wedding cake. 

As I got older and realized what a small allowance in money I'll have to spend on my 'dream' wedding, so I've been researching over thousands of websites and paid a bucket load of cash on bridal magazines. . . and then there is a no thanks to the addicting pinterest which sucks me in everyday, I still have no idea what I want for my 'big' day, let alone a color scheme for it. 

But there is one thing for certain I know I want on that day. 

Looking back to when I was a wee lil tike, I knew what I was talking about when I said I wanted to marry in a castle. I know with out a shadow of a doubt that I want to be sealed for all time and eternity with my (funny, handsome, and ridiculously wonderful) prince in a castle that I see every day. I can't wait to be able to enter the temple and know that I have an eternal family from that point forward, that is why on my wedding day there will be a big smile on my face. 

I know that if I took the chance, I could go there now and have the dream wedding day I've wanted from my young age. Yet I am thankful for the fact that I can go on a LDS mission and make it so others out there, even if it is just one individual, can go through there and know that they have an eternal family also. 

One day. . . that will be me.

'Giving'

Due to recent events, both in my own and to those in my life, I've decided to put down my own thoughts on this thing called love. 

You may disagree and think I am naive but to me this is how things are,

and there is no changing that. 

Love is a frightening thing; 

it entails laying your heart on a cutting board, handing someone a knife, yet trusting that they won't use it. giving my love to you means giving you the power to hurt me more than anyone can or has ever had the ability to.

 It is then expected-no, required-that if you accept this love of mine, 

you understand these things. 

You must summon the courage to assume the responsibility to the precious gift you now hold. 

But somehow it seems incorrect to call my love a gift.

 you have earned every loving thought, 

every kind word, 

every caring gesture.

 'Giving' love to you implies that you don't deserve it, 

and that couldn't be further from the truth. 

Love is the most valuable thing I have in this world and I wouldn't just give it away to just anyone. 

Love is a verb: it requires action. 

from both parties. 

Little Christmas

Fa la la la la and Christmas Cheer!

It's the most wonderful time of the year and I absolutely love this time of the year, especially this year's Christmas, something about this year seems fantastic. Maybe because I just hit twenty years of age earlier this year and I now have this new perspective on life, but I'm actually super excited for the next 40 to 60 years on this planet and i actually know why. 

I know I have said it a thousand times since my birthday, but I can't wait to go on a mission and that still hasn't changed. . . but there is after the mission I'm super excited for.

I'm excited to get married to the most fabulous man who has ever walked into my life and worships the ground I walk on and spend eternity with him. 

(I love you, just so you know and you know who you are) 

But I'm excited for our family we are going to start and the Christmas's we get to spend with them. 

If you follow my blog, you will realize that my dream job is to be a mom. That's it. An awesome mom. 

Period. Done. That is all I want to be. The End. 

I will be the mom that will deck out the house in Christmas decor, making sure my children will love christmas and that it will feel like Christmas for them every year, even when they are teenagers.
And spending Christmas with those future little ones will be fantastic. 

To once again see what magic comes from their little imaginations around this time of year. 

To see their eyes glow at all the lights,

Waiting by the chimney to catch a glimpse of Santa,

Watching their expressions of ah and wonder, 

and spending it with my handsome man. 

Man on man. . . Unlike Scrooge, I can't wait for my Christmas future. 


Happy Christmas to you all!

Beauty of a whale.

It has been rather recent that the talk of weight has entered my life. At a check up I was told I was now considered medically 'Obese" or overweight by just four pounds on the hospitals scale. I was heartbroken and I then started trying to lose weight. Looking at magazines and other awful examples of how a women should look made me sad because I was not the "perfect" body. . . . until one day, I stumbled upon this. . . 

"A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

                              The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way: 

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?They would have no sex life and could not bear children.Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad and, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn)"

So. . . I might be overweight and have a few problem areas and I will lose some weight for health issues, but I'm not going to starve my self to be something that isn't real anyway. 

So here I raise my cup of hot coco, in joy in my body and the fact that it can do so many wonderful things such as move, dance, laugh, hurt, feel love and someday make and protect life. 

Yeah BODY love! 

I will wear the badge proudly

My dearest friend of mine, before he left on his mission, wore this silly band on his left arm. He wore it for a full year and not once took it off.


He proudly wore it, and if anyone asked what the band said, with pride and with a full long explanation he told them what it meant. He wore it in the shower or when he went swimming and when he went to bed. He wore to work and big family events. He wore it when working in mud or painting a room, every day, all 365 of them (and even more) he wore it. And that is when I thought he was the biggest nerd of all time. In my mind I thought "who would display something like that?"

As time went on, the band started to lose it's lettering. I had offered many times to replace it, but every time he replied "I will not wear the new one. I said I wouldn't take this one off until I received my call" So alas, even with letters missing and viewers of the band more confessed at what it said, he still wore it.

On August 11th, 2010. His call finally came. We stood out side the door, breathing deeply before we found out his new future. He smiled at me and calmly said "I will no longer be needing this anymore" And with a flash the band was off and placed in his pocket. This "Future Missionary" was about to be called "Elder"




Exactly one year later, in the same hot month of August, I turned twenty years old. I had accomplished two decades of life and had quite a bit to show for it. I have been to many places, seen many different faces and continue to learn from others beliefs. However, I wanted something more. This want had been there since I was fourteen years old and through the years the hunger for it has grown. So on my birthday I decided to be like my dear friend and his band, but instead I will wear a badge, proclaiming the want to do something good and to share a true eternal happiness. I decided to work on becoming a future missionary. And I will continue to wear the badge every day on my key chain until I get my call and become a "Sister" and then wear that badge proudly to the front lines of the world.

"We'll bring the world His truth" 

I've Learned. . .

I've learned. . . that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.


I've learned. . . that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.


I've learned. . . that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.


I've learned. . . that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.


I've learned. . . that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.


I've learned. . . that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.


I've learned. . . that you can keep going long after you can't.


I've learned. . . that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.


I've learned. . . that either you control your attitude or it controls you.


I've learned. . . that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned. . . that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned. . . that money is a lousy way of keeping score.


I've learned. . . that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.


I've learned. . . that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.


I've learned. . . that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.


I've learned. . . that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.


I've learned. . . that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.


I've learned. . . that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.


I've learned. . . that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.


I've learned. . . that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.


I've learned. . . that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.


I've learned. . . that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.


I've learned. . . that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.


I've learned. . . that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.


I've learned. . . that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to help.


I've learned. . . that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.


I've learned. . . that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.


These things I have learned in just twenty short years. I can't wait to see what I learn in the next twenty. 

Jim and Pam

I've said it once. . . I'll say it again. 

I LOVE JIM AND PAM! 

I guess the really hopeful romantic is starting to stir again. 

I am going on a mission, but wedding browsing on the Internet has gotten the best of me. 

I love this video 

I love Jim! His character is actually some attributes I look for in a future husband. . . 

ALSO. . . John Krasinski is one sexy man. So being sexy helps.